So to get as far away from "identity politics" and "intellectual penis fencing" as I possibly can, I thought I'd simply go into some good ol' video games that have remained favorites of mine over the years!

Best super hero games: Arkham asylum/Arkham city

I list both these together as I believe they are complimentary halves that tie into one great story. Just everything about the early Arkham series was the perfect Batman experience. The exploration,brawling,stealth,and "detective work" all managed to somehow be enjoyable with not a single element standing out as tedious or poorly done. (This coming from a guy that's not the fondest of busy work and "sneaking around" segments.) Boss encounters in both these games were memorable as well.

Furthermore, even by today's standards these games look beautiful! (Er, in a dark,foreboding,and spooky "Gothic urban sprawl" kind of way!) Matter of fact, the other genre Rocksteady would be great at tackling someday would be some kind of action horror thriller hybrid. Much of Arkham asylum also reminded me of the Arkley Mansion in Resident Evil and the "psychological segments" with Scarecrow made me reminisce about Silent-Hill and Evil Within.

Lastly? The voice actors from Batman: The Animated Series returned and reprised their roles so to us fans old enough to make that connection it was a nostalgic treat! Definitely good titles to pick up in October assuming you're one of the few people who has not played Arkham Asylum and Arkham City repeatedly already.

Best Weeb game: Onechanbara Z2 Chaos

Initially I thought I was going to put Senran Kagura Shinovi versus here simply for the fact despite the obnoxious fan-service the game still had endearing likable characters and a somewhat decent story-line. (As decent of a story line as you can get about buxom ninja girls attending their own private schools whilst they deal with the trials and tribulations life has to throw at them!) 

"But" Onechanbara Z2 Chaos really drew me in with the crazy over the top hack n slash gameplay,B-movie horror themes,and the outrageous yet strangely touching dialogue between the 4 main characters. (Two sisters that are from a vampire clan and the other two sisters who are from the "baneful dead" clan.) Imagine if "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" were all hawt scantily clad monster-girls instead who went around the world slaying all matter of supernatural creatures. Yeah,it's a strange premise but it kinda works.

Each protagonist specializes using three weapons which they can switch between on the fly. (Every once in awhile you have to sling the blood off your weapons to keep their damage output high as well) In addition to executing gorgeous yet lethal combos you can also call in the three other girls to fight at your side when "Ready" flashes next to their portraits or go into a ridiculous devil trigger/super saiyan form once you've built up enough energy for it.

I originally hesitated getting Onechanbara Z2 Chaos because some people complained the campaign was "too short" but I found it to be a reasonable enough length and enjoyed doing the many challenges/side missions as well. Playing thru all the difficulties and side content will net you more outfits and you'll also acquire points to spend on various mystic rings that boost certain attributes,increase the chance of item drops,or just buff your stats. Beyond all that you have new moves to learn,weapons to upgrade,and "chaos gems" can even increase your overall health gauge.

If your a fan of games like Bayonetta and Devil May Cry this is one I highly recommend despite it's more humble "low budget studio" origins. (And Senran Kagura as a series still gets an honorable mention too!)

Best horror game: Silent-Hill 3

Here's the thing. I've played horror games that were "more fun" and had more side content than Silent Hill 3. Resident Evil Revelations 2's "raid mode" is a testament to just how many hours you can invest into something that has NOTHING TO DO with character development,scary ambience,creepy tension, or spinning a decent narrative. Sometimes it's fun just to blast away zombies,collect guns with a ridiculous number of unrealistic side properties,and dress your choosen avatar in the most unrealistic slutty attire possible! Guilty pleasures,fam. What can I say?

However, SilentHill 3 was "something more". I get it,most "Silent Snoots" praise Silent Hill 2 as if "the twist" with James was something revolutionary (It wasn't) and somehow it's unique take on psychological themes makes it the best Silent Hill ever. (It's a good game don't get me wrong but nope,not my personal favorite in the franchise!)

Heather's journey represents a lot of things. At the heart of it all I'd call them "growing pains". As we become young adults we tend to lose someone close and dear to us and gradually learn we're not "right" about everything and as invincible as we initially thought we were. We move on with the epiphany the plans we make for ourselves are not full proof. The world outside our initial safety net is a strange,unforgiving, and coldly impartial place.

To quote The Doors.......

"When you're strange

Faces come out of the rain

When you're strange

No one remembers your name

When you're strange

When you're strange

When you're strange!"

There's definitely this initial feeling of alienation and isolation as Heather has to confront her past and deal with people who mostly do not have her best interests at heart. This doesn't even touch on the nightmarish other world sequences or strange grotesque creatures that litter the various hell-scapes. (And the most terrifying ones don't even attack you,they just watch you!) In the end you strike down a cult-leader that on the inside is merely an abused shy little girl who wants to bring her best friend back to life as well as her failed "left overs" of that plan. It doesn't feel "grandiose" or triumphant. It simply feels sad yet simultaneously cathartic. (Very bittersweet.) Luckily Heather did make a trusted companion along the way and the good ending suggests she can finally move forward without being shackled to the past.

(And bandaged Alessa giving us the "thumbs up" during the SH1 credit roll is still best prettiest waifu!)

Best rpg: Nier Gestalt/Replicant

Imagine a cute lass who exhibits the alluring come hither traits of elf princesses (Zelda!) but she cries all the time and may or may not be diagnosed with schizophrenia and manic depression! Who knows? She (He?) might be a trap too! (You haven't gotten that far to find out yet!) That's Nier. Melancholy and awkward yet sheer perfection in the way it pulls your heart-strings. One moment you're laughing your ass off because Kaine (Your hermaphrodite hawtie companion) is cussing out your sentient floating spell book Weiss whilst he retorts by calling her a hussy! The next moment you learn Emil's backstory and it breaks your fucking heart. All the characters in Nier are outcasts and misfits yet never before have fictional beings been so relatable,vulnerable,and "human".

At it's crux Nier is an "action rpg" structured in a similar way as a more modern Zelda game but set in a much more tragic setting. "This gloomy mood" is sometimes broken with crude humor, heartfelt touching interactions between key characters, or Emil (The "innocent soul" of your adventuring party) doing something utterly "adorable"! As "The burly man" you and your homies are trying to save your sickly daughter from the black scrawl curse. (Xbox 360 version to be precise. In the PS3 version you are a bishounen looking lad trying to save your sister who is still the same character. Er,riiiighto!) Obviously you get wrapped up in more far reaching mechanations as you face head spinning plot reveals and heart crushing unexpected betrayals. (Whilst you smash shadow monster thingies, giant abominations, and robots for the express purpose of experience farming!)

I don't know if I can recommend Nier to just anybody. It's sort of that "Jack of all trades but master of none" as far as combat,exploration,side quests,and boss encounters go. But the music,voice acting, and character building are superb and worth the multiple play thrus it takes to uncover the whole truth!

(Oh Yoko Taro,you lovable mad lad you!)

Best "Something"-Vania: Ritual Of The Night

I'll level with you all. I "liked" Lords Of Shadow. That's right, I said it! Lords Of Shadow was a competent action exploration game that to me was cut from a similar cloth as Super Castlevania (SNES) only with that modern spectacle twist. (Along with a pretty intriguing alternative take on CV lore) Stay with me,alright? Don't make any misplaced assumptions just yet! I "also" was sad to see Igarashi leave Konami and though I enjoyed Lords Of Shadow "Symphony Of The Night" was my all time favorite game in the series.

After the failure of "Mighty No. 9" I was paranoid of Kick-Starter gaming projects. When Iga wanted funding for a new Igavania type adventure I wished him well but was very cautiously optmistic. "If the project gets released I'll buy it if it has good reviews but not 1 cent will be given before then!" I said to myself with steely conviction.

Welp, after having put 50 something hours into ROTN (Which I bought from GOG) I can confidently say it's at least "tied" with SOTN as my all time favorite Igavania game! Even without the plethora of "additional content" that's been promised for further down the pipe line, it still stands strong as a complete side-scrolling Fantasy/Gothic/Horror/Action/Exploration/RPG/Boss Rush extravaganza! If you are a hardcore SOTN acolyte you may prefer the old school sprites over the 3D renders used in ROTN but everything "still" had painstaking detail put into it and looks phenomenal. (The gameplay will also immediately appeal to anyone who blazed a bloody trail thru Dracula's cursed castle alongside his rebellious son Alucard!)

As Miriam you were an orphaned child made into a sacrificial shard binder that can seal away demons. The alchemists made you this way to prove to the industrial steam powered world they still have knowledge and skills beneficial to the modern era. Alas, your childhood friend (Also a shard binder) uses his powers to call forth and ally himself with the demons as an intimidating monster infested manor conjures itself into existence on the bleak horizon.

From there on out Miriam will interact with helpful npcs and use her shard binding abilities to steal powers from the surrounding bestiary or even to bind some of them to her soul as familiars. As expected there's also a "recipe system" to make a plethora of foods that improve Miriam's stats or enhance her items. (Miriam finds everything from weapons,to armors,to helpful trinkets. Some which give her special abilities needed to explore deeper into the demonic domain.)

The only criticism that can be leveled at ROTN is for certain people it might be a wee bit "too much" like Iga's past offerings. However, if you were like me and starved for another good SOTN-Like experience ROTN delivers in all areas! (Including the music composed by Michiru Yamane,concept art by Ayami Kojima,and voice acting from David Hayter and Uncle Alucard himself!)

Best open world "I can do what I want!" game: Saints-Row2-4

Want an open world game without the GTA bullshit of in game Casinos and in game rarities that will end up costing you REAL money? Do you agree bowling with your cousin is about as adrenaline pumping as watching paint dry? Saints-Row should be your first stop then! As of "today" you can get Saints-Row 2 and Saints-Row 3 and 4 bundled with all their content for "very cheap".

To start, I'm a sucker for games that let me make my own character. I don't know why GTA is so hellbent on "never" letting you do this (Except in their multi-player bullshit modes) but it's a lot of fun to make your own quirky avatars that are total bad-asses within the criminal underworld.

Some lament the obvious "mood shift" between SR2 and SR3 and SR4 but I enjoy all the games based on their own positive attributes. It's not often you get to go from being a regular gang leader to surviving a zombie apocolypse then finally taking on hostile aliens who have plugged you into a virtual reality simulation with super powers! (Did I mention by this point you were the president of the U.S.A?!)

To me SaintsRow 2 is best when you want a game "somewhat grounded in realism" and it seems to be the largest game with the most to explore. SR2 also has that trademark zany sense of humor, it's just more subdued and peppered in with a few somewhat more serious happenings.

By contrast SR3 and SR4 "Jump the shark" but in that "At least I'm having a great time!" sort of way. Both these games seem a lot more colorful with a lot more gag reels and pop cultural satire.

Regardless, I can't think of a better distraction to eat away at your time whilst alleviating your boredom than the Saints-Row collection! Highly recommended! (Even with the floppy purple dildoes!)

Best fighting game: Skull Girls

For decades I waited for a new Dark-Stalkers entry. My prayers were eventually answered but in a very round about way! You see Skull Girls is sort of that "unofficial sequel" to everything I enjoyed about obscure fighting games that were forgotten and taken for granted. It plays a lot like capcom's "ye olde" versus games and has a setting and story line rooted in supernatural creatures, mad scientist experimentation, and eldritch creatures scheming to "do bad things" unless they are stopped. All this framed within a strange alternate-earth time period that borrows from the 1920's and 1940's.

At its' heart I believe Skull-Girls is a humble attempt to give us the best parts of the genre minus any unnecessary fluff. That being a cast of "mostly" very attractive female characters with cool powers that pay homage to both traditional western cartoons and Japanese anime! (And that classic horror vibe endears me to Skull-Girls that much more!)

Their are fighters with "more characters" and fighters that I believe are just as worthy of a mention. But Skull-Girls tickled my nostalgic funny bone and had me play thru each character's storyline just to see what happened to its' endearing cast.

Supposedly this game was even censored (Why? Who knows!) but there's still a lot of fan service and sexiness to see!