So it occurs to me I haven't used skype in forever. That and when "someone new' friended me on steam I was very apprehensive but still had a few friendly conversations with him before choosing that option where I sign in as invisible! (Smooth Ben,smooth!) My last act of kindness was buying a few mates I knew some games on steam during a sale. (Still owe one friend "something" as he picked up Mad Max for me!)
To others I must seem fleeting and disloyal. I don't really have a defense, I'm just so much more comfortable alone in my own thoughts. It's not I'll refuse to entertain company or ignore e-mails but I am the type of guy you have to kinda "push" to socialize. There are certain irregularities in this behavioral pattern in which I'll finally make rounds and ask how people have been doing but it's not a daily or even weekly routine.
I don't romanticize being an introvert. Some really get off on that "happily aloof outcast who is too cool to care" shtick but when you REALLY are that beyond mere appearances it's difficult to maintain friendships and muster up enough charisma to market your ideas. I try to improve but it's a constant struggle and "eventually" the effort exerted to socialize always makes me feel drained. Don't get me wrong, I'm still simultaneously happy to speak with people I care about but it's akin to "comforting exhaustion" like when the typical human being is done having sex with someone they actually enjoy being around!
Anyway,are you all more introverted (Happy hermits) or extroverted (People persons)? Feel free to discuss!
Ratcaller
Hey there! I mean I used to be heavy introvert and I still am. But after years and years of being more or less forced to deal with people, Ive started to really enjoy random social interactions. Once I got the heavy anxiety off of me it became more of a skill I wanted to explore and eventually I got reasonably good at it. Im still introvert in nature and prefer time spent alone though. However, dealing with people taught me many, many things, good and bad, and I cant imagine running my brain engine without all the shit Ive learned :3
nightsavior
Ah,there are times I can enjoy interacting with people. But even if it's a good encounter I tend to feel exhausted afterwards. Once in awhile there's an exception to that rule but it is rare. I have been charming in certain situations but that's more of an irregularity. lol. There are a lot of cute females that work at my grocery store and to my credit I make eye contact and hold a conversation. Albeit I tend to talk about the most inoffensive boring crap imaginable! I suppose the trick to all of it is "letting people in",even if you're kind of afraid they might see something they don't immediately like or understand. Still it's probably better being the weird interesting guy than the milquetoast bland guy! Thanks for sharing your story,Ratcaller! I'm glad you were able to eventually kick your heavy anxiety to the curb!